2 Timothy 3:16
Lifemates Blog

Wars and threat of war may increasingly be on the minds of many, but what about war zones happening in marriages eg those small disagreements turning into an all-out war of words.
Alex and Stephen Kendrick wrote that: “Many marriages consist of two people who have become enemies. Consider this: It’s hard to hate someone you’re praying for. Your heart simply won’t allow it. It’s also hard to sling mud on a person who is praying for you. Does your marriage break out in all-out combat on a consistent basis? Try bombing your battles with prayer instead of anger. It brings amazingly effective peace talks to the conflict. But don’t just pray for your imperfect spouse before or after the battle. Pray with him or her during the battle. It’s hard to launch scud missiles when you’re on your knees praying for each other.”

A Good Example of Fighting with Prayer

Dr David Clarke tells of a couple that had a deeply troubled marriage. In his book, ‘A Marriage After God’s Own Heart’ he said, “The situation looked grim.” However, he advised them to pray about their marriage together that week and come back to see him.
When they did, they were like honeymooners. He asked them what happened and here’s what he wrote: “They said they’d gone home after the previous week’s session ready to end their marriage. After three days of silence, the husband suddenly asked his wife to pray with him. He told her he was desperate, and the only option left was to turn to God. So they prayed; and prayed, and prayed.
For three solid hours, they cried out to God on their knees in their bedroom. They confessed their relationship sins. And they repented of the many things they’d done to hurt each other. They admitted their resentments and gave them all to God. Through tears, they asked for forgiveness — from God and from each other.
And, they told me, after those hours of prayer, something amazing happened. Forgiveness and healing happened. They felt cleansed. They felt hopeful and closer to each other. And they felt passion and love for each other for the first time in years. With God’s help, they knew they really could start over. To be sure, this couple still had hard work to do in therapy. We spent several months clearing away old debris and building a new marriage. But their prayer marathon was the beginning of their journey.”
THAT is fighting with prayer.

Have some fun

A 7 day commitment of cherishing behaviours that many have found helpful:

  1. Greet me with a hug and a kiss before we get out of bed in the morning.
  2. When you are walking, bring back a flower or a leaf.
  3. Look at me, and smile.
  4. Call me during the day and tell me something pleasant.
  5. Turn off the lights and light a candle when we have dinner.
  6. Ask me how I spent my day.
  7. Meet me at the bus stop sometimes as a surprise.
  8. Tell me how much you enjoy having breakfast with me.
  9. Tell the children (in front of me) what a good parent I am.
  10. When we sit together, put your arm around me.
  11. When we are together at home, ask me what record I would like to hear, and then play it.
  12. Wash my back when I’m in the shower.
  13. Have coffee with me in the morning so that we can have a five-minute talk together.
  14. Hold me at night just before we go to sleep.
  15. Ask my opinion about world affairs after we watch the news.
  16. For no special reason, hug me and say you like me.
  17. Hold my hand when we walk down the street.
  18. When you see me coming up the drive, come out to meet me.
  19. Put a surprise note in my lunch bag.
  20. When we’re together, end your sentences with “dear” or “sweetheart.”
  21. When we part in the morning, blow a kiss to me.

From H. Norman Wright’s book “After you say ‘I do'”

Tips

“For the next thirty days, pray for your mate every day. Ask your spouse to share the two or three requests he/she would most like to see answered during the next thirty days. Write these down and put the prayer requests where you will see them every day. Tape them to the mirror, dashboard, or refrigerator. If the requests are deeply personal, keep them from public view. Mark your calendar and in thirty days tell each other how you have prayed and see what God has done.” ~ Patrick M. Morley

Thoughts

Most marriages can survive temporarily ‘falling out of love.’ But you’re headed for disaster if you ever let yourself fall out of repentance.” ~ Gary Thomas

THOUGHTS FOR PARENTS

  • Polish proverb says, “You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once.”
  • Children have more need of models than critics. ~ many names acreditted to this quote
  • Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. ~ Charles R. Swindoll
  • While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. ~ Angela Schwindt
  • Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What does the word ‘marriage’ mean to you?” ~ AllProDad

Quotes

  • “Happily Ever After” is built on a lifetime of choices that say, “I love you” rather than choices that say, “I love me.” ~ Matt Jacobson
  • If you are not connecting on a daily basis with your spouse, you are exchanging a Soul Mate for a Roommate. ~ Maggie Reyes

Parenting

By: Collett Smart:

Weekly news reports of traumatic images and stories of pain and destruction such as; natural disasters (bushfires, floods, volcanoes and earthquakes), the coronavirus, terrorist attacks, threats of war and shootings can cause great concern in children.
Turn off the news!
Watching television reports or scrolling through images on social media may overwhelm tweens and teens. Overexposure to coverage of the events affects adults as well. Encourage screen limits, for a time, for both you and your teens. Process the information as you need to, but do your best to starve your news feed of the detailed stories, and begin again to focus on hope. This is not to ignore the facts, but our brains struggle to be in a constant state of ‘alarm’.

Dave Taylor offers this advice on parenting:
Shut Up And Listen!

Perhaps the most basic of parenting strategies, we adults have a really bad habit of not listening to our children and just imparting our judgment or wisdom over them speaking to us, sharing or venting. Your children want to share with you, they want your advice, and sometimes, they might just want your sympathy. So stop talking already, stop interrupting them, stop discounting or belittling what they say, stop being unsympathetic and just listen to them. Even if it takes a while for them to unwind or get to the point.

Laughter is good for us

My partner told me I was rude for yawning when we were arguing. I told them I wasn’t yawning, I thought it was my turn to speak.

My wife and I have decided we don’t want kids. If you’re interested, please contact us immediately to arrange dropping them off.

Q: What’s the difference between love and marriage? A: Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener!